Where is the hickey?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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