mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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