I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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