I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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