I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
