I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
