it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
