That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
