no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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