i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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