you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
