you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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