There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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