On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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