this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
