the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
