there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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