My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
