naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
