you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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