I think I died a long time ago.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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