OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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