okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
