guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
