Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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