i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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