HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
