There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
