Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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