I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
