So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
