So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
