How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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