Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
