the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
