Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
