how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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