why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
