Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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