Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
