I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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