We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
