Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
