Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
