I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
