Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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