peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
