Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
