I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
