He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
