It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
