so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
