just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
