One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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