Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
