Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
