The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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