no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
